Time took time to talk to me today. Alliterations aside, I think it went well. I'm glad that we can have a reasoned discussion. He's not very good at conflict mediation because that's not his style of communication. He's a storyteller so he kept giving anecdotes rather than telling me what he requires in order for the household to function. I tried to be as clear as possible about the changes that I need made. We agreed to wait 10 minutes before talking when angry. I hope he can hold to this when the need arises. He was kind of condescending when we talked because he kept using phrases like "I guess I expected you to act like an adult and know what to do." I find that highly ironic since the immature actions were all his. I admitted my wrongdoing but emphasized that none of it was the least bit intentional. He apologized for his hurtful words but I don't think that he truly understood that the words weren't what really mattered.
I explained as clearly as I could that I was most disturbed by the actions that he took which did nothing to solve whatever problem was at hand. He still believes that his anger is not the main problem, but communication is. While I believe our communication leaves a lot to be desired, his outbursts are the reason why we need to improve communication. I can't do anything to change his anger so I focus on what I can change. I hope this works to solve things.
In other news, I went out with Russ and Beth on Friday to see Harry Potter 7. I was really happy with it and of course, I cried when Dobby died. After the movie, we went out to dinner at a pretty swanky place. The executive chef was on the original Iron Chef and is a James Beard award winner. I had the chicken souvlaki. Russ had a bacon cheeseburger (quelle surprise!) and Beth had the red panang prawn curry bowl. From the wait staff, it seemed the upscale version of Hooters. All of the girls needed a sandwich. After the whole "fat ass" debacle, I'm thinking about size more than I have been. I guess it's kind of a good thing that I haven't had size on my mind so much lately. Also, my clothes are fitting looser than they were when I got here so thank you, city life/ridiculous hills of Seattle!
28.11.10
25.11.10
Thankful
Today I am truly thankful for:
- A roof over my head
- Russ and Beth for giving me a roof when I didn't have one of my own
- A wonderful job that allows to help people and make a living at the same time
- The internet and phones so I can keep in touch with my friends and family back home and around the world
- New friends who are willing to open their hearts and homes to others
- Unexpected walks that turn out to be quite delightful
- Making it to the bus stop at the same time as the bus so you don't have to wait at all
- Bus drivers working on Thanksgiving, allowing people all over the city to see their loved ones
- Three and a half year old kiddos that remind me so much of my cousins that it makes my heart ache
- The knowledge that no matter how low I might feel at any point, I have so many people who love me enough to pick me up and set me right
22.11.10
What Goes Up...
Another fight...no, fight isn't the right word...another demonstration of immaturity by Time this evening. I am so sick of this. I wrote an e-mail to my landlord to explain the situation because I can't handle it. I sent it to Laura first so nothing is too unreasonable or stated in a great deal of anger. I need clean towels. There was a lot of laundry going on this weekend so I thought "I can wait and do it Monday night." Well, when I went downstairs, there were two loads of laundry on the machines and then an additional load in the dryer. I started mine in the washer, hoping that whoever's laundry it was would come to collect their belongings before I needed the dryer.
I kept waiting to hear the latch go on the stairs down to the laundry room. Nine o'clock rolls around. We aren't supposed to do laundry after 10 p.m. so I decide I will try to fit all three orphaned loads on the dryer. Time comes in and goes downstairs. Ah ha! An owner comes to lay claim upon his poor forgotten whites! He is down there for a longer than average time. Expected I suppose since he had a lot of laundry to wrangle. He comes up in a mood! He says that someone threw his laundry on the floor. I did my best to keep everything on the machines but when you leave three loads downstairs, there is only so much I can do. That's what I can't wrap my head around. Why did he have three loads downstairs? That means that he had to have had both machines full and then brought down another, took out clothes from the dryer to transfer over and then just left clothes downstairs. I don't get that.
Okay, back to Time. Last time he yelled at me, he said that all he wanted was honesty. So I thought, "here's my chance to prove that I can be honest and own up to my mistakes!" I tell him that it is my laundry in the dryer and that I did my best to get everything to stay but there were a lot of items, as previously mentioned. I did my level best to be respectful of his things but there is only so much that I can do. He goes on about how stuff like this didn't happen before, only since I moved in. I doubt the veracity of that statement but that is neither here nor there. I chose to not respond and just keep washing dishes. Well, like all bullies, he was looking for a reaction. When he didn't get one, out of nowhere, he says "fat ass!" Being blindsided by such an unrelated comment, my only words to him in this whole scenario were "How is that relevant?" And then goes on to say, "Only big people do that. Fat ones like you." I fail to see what my BMI has to do with anything other than my BMI but apparently there is some sort of correlation. I suspect it's much like murder rates and ice cream sales. Anyway, I needed to put that out there for the world to see.
In an unrelated note, Seattle freaks out over snow! It's kind of cute. Like a puppy seeing its reflection in the mirror for the first time. Granted, the insane hills make the tiniest bit of ice an issue but the reaction seems way out of proportion to the actual precipitation. We shall see!
I kept waiting to hear the latch go on the stairs down to the laundry room. Nine o'clock rolls around. We aren't supposed to do laundry after 10 p.m. so I decide I will try to fit all three orphaned loads on the dryer. Time comes in and goes downstairs. Ah ha! An owner comes to lay claim upon his poor forgotten whites! He is down there for a longer than average time. Expected I suppose since he had a lot of laundry to wrangle. He comes up in a mood! He says that someone threw his laundry on the floor. I did my best to keep everything on the machines but when you leave three loads downstairs, there is only so much I can do. That's what I can't wrap my head around. Why did he have three loads downstairs? That means that he had to have had both machines full and then brought down another, took out clothes from the dryer to transfer over and then just left clothes downstairs. I don't get that.
Okay, back to Time. Last time he yelled at me, he said that all he wanted was honesty. So I thought, "here's my chance to prove that I can be honest and own up to my mistakes!" I tell him that it is my laundry in the dryer and that I did my best to get everything to stay but there were a lot of items, as previously mentioned. I did my level best to be respectful of his things but there is only so much that I can do. He goes on about how stuff like this didn't happen before, only since I moved in. I doubt the veracity of that statement but that is neither here nor there. I chose to not respond and just keep washing dishes. Well, like all bullies, he was looking for a reaction. When he didn't get one, out of nowhere, he says "fat ass!" Being blindsided by such an unrelated comment, my only words to him in this whole scenario were "How is that relevant?" And then goes on to say, "Only big people do that. Fat ones like you." I fail to see what my BMI has to do with anything other than my BMI but apparently there is some sort of correlation. I suspect it's much like murder rates and ice cream sales. Anyway, I needed to put that out there for the world to see.
In an unrelated note, Seattle freaks out over snow! It's kind of cute. Like a puppy seeing its reflection in the mirror for the first time. Granted, the insane hills make the tiniest bit of ice an issue but the reaction seems way out of proportion to the actual precipitation. We shall see!
16.11.10
Celebrate
Three of my students passed their citizenship tests yesterday!!! They all thanked me profusely for my help. I feel great about it because I put a lot of effort into their studying. I worked with all three of them in private on a regular basis. I am so glad that the work paid off. I am a bit sad because they were fun to have in class. Also, because they left, I have a bunch of new students that got bumped up to my class. It means that I have to slow way down to accommodate them. I don't like it. I suppose it's because I liked being the one to push all of them and make the class as valuable as possible. Talk Time is going well too. We had 20 students in class today and we have a steady supply of volunteers so it is much more productive for the students. Things are going really well!
13.11.10
Ill
I'm sick. Yakima is in central Washington and therefore, the rain shadow of the Cascades. That makes the air super dry and when combined with being around 1,000 people who work with children and poor people makes for the perfect conditions for being sick. The drive there and back was gorgeous. I got sort of bummed out because Evan quit Americorps to do the exact same job at ACRS but for more money. That meant that he didn't come so it was Aaron, Alex and me on the way there. During one of our evenings together, it came out that Alex doesn't care if was we know him as a person which I find slightly disturbing/perturbing. I don't really feel like blogging more about that. In fact, I feel like sleeping...so that's what I'll do.
8.11.10
Yakima Bound
Sorry that it has been so long since I posted anything. I had a temporary internet issue that has since cleared up. My wireless connection returned as mysteriously as it left. Anyway, I am headed to the SERVES conference today. It's in Yakima which is about 3 hours away. I'm not really pumped about being away from my students but I am excited for the bonding with my fellow Americorps volunteers. I get to talk with Laura and Alex a bit. Laura and I hang out outside of work but I never see Evan or Alex. This should be a good chance to really get to know my co-workers.
Time and I have been getting along better. Actually, 95% of the time we get along fine. It's just when he flies off the handle and goes all insane/angry. Then there is awkwardness afterwards because he doesn't mean anything by it and I take it like it means something. The problem is, I'm not OK with that. Before you reach for anger, you should always try to solve a problem without raising your voice. It's frustrating but it makes me feel good that even though I start crying, I can still keep my head about me. I may not have total control over my body but I am able to use some of the conflict resolution training that I have had in my own life.
Time and I have been getting along better. Actually, 95% of the time we get along fine. It's just when he flies off the handle and goes all insane/angry. Then there is awkwardness afterwards because he doesn't mean anything by it and I take it like it means something. The problem is, I'm not OK with that. Before you reach for anger, you should always try to solve a problem without raising your voice. It's frustrating but it makes me feel good that even though I start crying, I can still keep my head about me. I may not have total control over my body but I am able to use some of the conflict resolution training that I have had in my own life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)