Today I started what will hopefully be the program that gives me life. I'm so sick of being obese and not having energy. Power 90 might be the workout that can change that. This is a program that really emphasizes discipline for 3 months. After that, you are welcome to do whatever you want. I can handle that. Sculpt Phase I-II was not really that hard. The really hard part for me is the push-ups. I've never been good at them but a large part of that is because the resistance comes from body weight which I have more than enough of.
I got a punch in the face of reality when I saw that my mom was trying to get me health insurance and I'm uninsurable. She didn't directly tell me this but it was by the computer. At this point, I am too fat to risk the money even though I am 21 and have no underlying health problems. This is Day 1 of the journey to responsibility. For too long I just resigned myself to being fat. It was genetics, not my eating habits that made me fat. Well, a large part is genetics because even when I was swimming 5 days a week, I still didn't lose any weight. No matter what is to blame, it's my burden to bear. This is going to be hard but I need to just keep in mind that as dramatic as it sounds, my life is at stake. I want to live more than just 30 more years plagued by health problems and restrictions because of my size. After graduation, I've spent nearly 17 years on my education. All of that time working on bettering my mind doesn't matter if I drop dead. I want to be able to use this brain that I've worked so hard for for the next 80 years or so. It will be hard and I will need encouragement but in the end, this can give me a future.
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